3 Tips for Better Communication

Tipful Tuesday: 3 Tips for Better Communication
We have said it before, and we will say it again. Communication is essential. We really couldn't do much without it. Yet, we all still struggle with it daily. That's right, no one is a perfect communicator. So here are three tips, inspired by the quote from Robert McCloskey,that we can all use that might just help make our communication better.

1. Think before you speak
It's as true now, as it was in elementary school. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Think before you speak." What impact will your words have on the conversation? Take a beat to think about it. Will that email you just drafted be helpful or hurtful? Re-read it before you hit send. By thinking before you speak, you might avoid hurt feelings, but you could also avoid miscommunication down the road. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, our brains move faster than our words. What we say is not always what we mean. Thinking first can help clarify, so we choose the right words.

2. Listen for the context around the conversation, and the context of the conversation
Listening is an essential part of the communication process. Not only do we have to listen to the words that are being said, but we have to make note of the context as well.

Listening for the context around the situation in which our conversation is taking place is the first step. Are they mad because they hit bad traffic on their drive to work? What else might they be going through? What do they usually say and how do they usually say it? How is today's context the same or different? These might give us some clues, but sometimes we need to listen to ourselves as well. What am I distracted by? Am I having a bad day? Will it have an effect on how I respond or what I hear? Likely the answer is yes. The context around the conversation will affect the conversation itself.

We also have to listen to the context within the conversation. This can clue us in to details that we might otherwise miss and could make things confusing. If you have been listening closely, you shouldn't have to stop and ask about the who, what, or where. You should already know because you have been listening to the context. For example, when baking, if someone asks for a cup of flour, you know they mean a measuring cup, not a coffee cup, and flour not flower. At work, when your coworker is talking about Tom, you know they are likely talking about your coworker Tom, not your neighbor Tom. Listening to the context within the conversation, as well as to the context of the conversation, will help you understand their meaning better and make your communications more easier and more successful.

3. Add a little grace
If you are the listener, show a little grace for the speaker. They might not mean what they really said. If it feels like an overreaction, it might be, so have a little grace. Don’t jump to point out the faults in their argument or buy in to their escalations. Maybe all they needed to do was vent about the situation. Show them a little grace and try and listen for what they really meant to say.

If you are the speaker, be patient with the listener. They may not be coming to the conversation with the same perspective that you have. As you communicate with them, if they aren’t chiming in, maybe they just need a little grace to get in the same frame of mind that you are in. Grace will give them the opportunity to see where you might be coming from, without forcing them to get defensive, or worse, shut down completely.