Three Tips for Taking the High Road, Even When It's Hard

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Three Tips for Taking the High Road, Even When It's Hard   As we go through our busy lives, bumping into others who are going about their equally busy lives, even when we don’t intend to cause harm or disruption, sometimes we wind up in a situation where we witness someone else behaving at less than their best. Sometimes, even, that less-than-ideal behavior comes across as something pretty unpleasant directed at us. It could be that someone responded with uncharacteristic or unexpected curtness. Maybe they failed to respond altogether, or did only some portion of their assigned or requested task. Maybe they let some flicker of emotion appear in an uncharacteristic way – raising their voice, letting a pen or notebook hit the table with heightened force, shedding an angry tear or a harsh remark. Maybe they crafted a scathing note or email, and you wound up on the receiving end.   Sometimes, frankly, we wind up in the crosshairs of someone else’s negativity, and it can be mighty hard to not respond in kind. So, we offer three tips to help.   1 – Sleep on it. Whether you can wait a few seconds, hours, or even a day to respond, it turns out that the mere passage of time can sometimes lessen the sting of someone else’s bad behavior. Slights (whether intentional or accidental) can often seem less harsh in the light of a new day, so waiting to respond until after a good night’s sleep is ideal. If you can’t wait until tomorrow, at the very least, take a few deep breaths, calm yourself, clear your head, and make sure any response you deliver is from a level-headed frame of mind.   2 – Seek their truth.  We are each entitled to our own perspective, and it’s possible that they perceived something in an entirely different way than you did. Take at least a moment to reflect on the situation, and try to put yourself in their shoes. What might have been going on? What might they have seen that you did not? What might a third-party observer (neither you nor this other person) have seen? Is there something that you can do to help them? Is there some wrong that you can help right? While it may be tempting to dismiss the person along with the situation (“throw the baby out with the bath water,” so to speak), can you find the good in them you can protect?   3 – Let it go.  Consider the importance of this incident. Will it change the course of the future? In the proverbial “grand scheme of things”, is it small, medium, or large? Or is it perhaps so minimal as to not even hit the radar? What do you need to do to release this from your frame of reference? Can you forgive and forget? Can you get over it and move on? What would that take? Sometimes taking the time to write out our thoughts on paper or in an email – and then NOT send them – can help you process your frustration without perpetuating the cycle of negativity or dragging someone else into your story. Shred or crumple up the words you’ve written and throw them away as a physical manifestation of letting it go.   Whatever tactics or techniques you use, making a deliberate and intentional effort to take the high road, rather than perpetuate the cycle of negativity can be like planting seeds of positivity that will flourish along your path.