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I’m sure it has happened to most of us. Sometimes, for one reason or another, things just go sideways.

An inadvertent question by one person was interpreted as an attack by another
A call for change was misperceived as a rejection of everything we’ve done so far
Forgetting to bring someone in to a discussion is perceived as an intentional slight

All of these can lead to hard feelings an unnecessary tension, often across generations.

But all is not lost. We want to offer a couple of ways to recover the conversation.

"Thank you"
These two simple words are just as important in conversations these days as they were back when we first learned them. The words “thank you” can go a long way in diffusing tension, from those who’ve been here awhile and those who are chomping at the bit.

Depending on where you stand in the conversation, try saying something like…

Thank you for sharing your idea.
Thank you for speaking up.
Thank you for your contributions.
Thank you for letting me finish.

Remember, this stuff is really fuzzy! We were all raised in different times by different people. That can make all of this really messy. Using those two simple words, “Thank you” can be a way to clear things up.

"How...?"
A few weeks ago, we talked about the power of curiosity. It is powerful in social situations when we are just trying to figure each other out. It is also powerful in workplace situations when we are just trying to figure out how to work together.

Depending on where you stand in the conversation, try saying something like…

How did this come to be?
How does the history help set the context?
How can technology help us?
How can the newest, latest, and greatest thing help us here?

Remember, curiosity is a powerful tool, and starting with asking “How?” will get you off to a great start. Asking a question that starts with “how” validates the other person and lets them share their story.

Remember the three-step process of curiosity begins with expressing interest (a question that starts with “How”), continues with demonstrating interest (keeping your mouth shut long enough to listen to the answer), and moves to feeling interest (their story of “How” will help you together build a better answer for what’s next).


New Article I’m sure it has happened to most of us. Sometimes, for one reason or another, things just go sideways. An inadvertent question by one person was interpreted as an attack by another A call for change was misperceived as a rejection of everything we’ve done so far Forgetting to bring someone in to a discussion is perceived as an intentional slight All of these can lead to hard feelings an unnecessary tension, often across generations. But all is not lost. We want to offer a couple of ways to recover the conversation. "Thank you" These two simple words are just as important in conversations these days as they were back when we first learned them. The words “thank you” can go a long way in diffusing tension, from those who’ve been here awhile and those who are chomping at the bit. Depending on where you stand in the conversation, try saying something like… Thank you for sharing your idea. Thank you for speaking up. Thank you for your contributions. Thank you for letting me finish. Remember, this stuff is really fuzzy! We were all raised in different times by different people. That can make all of this really messy. Using those two simple words, “Thank you” can be a way to clear things up. "How...?" A few weeks ago, we talked about the power of curiosity. It is powerful in social situations when we are just trying to figure each other out. It is also powerful in workplace situations when we are just trying to figure out how to work together. Depending on where you stand in the conversation, try saying something like… How did this come to be? How does the history help set the context? How can technology help us? How can the newest, latest, and greatest thing help us here? Remember, curiosity is a powerful tool, and starting with asking “How?” will get you off to a great start. Asking a question that starts with “how” validates the other person and lets them share their story. Remember the three-step process of curiosity begins with expressing interest (a question that starts with “How”), continues with demonstrating interest (keeping your mouth shut long enough to listen to the answer), and moves to feeling interest (their story of “How” will help you together build a better answer for what’s next).
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